The card sent to me today to write about is the Empress (Anna K Tarot). This deck portrays her as an archetype of ‘mother’ with a round ample figure. She is mother—Mother Nature, creation and destruction, nurturing and loving but fickle like a beautiful day with a sudden downpour. She represents all women with her feminine power to create and nurture. She is loving and protective of her creations...don’t mess with mama bear. She is Alice, but also the Red Queen. The Empress is within all of us.
In my life, I am mom to 3 boys, now young men. There were days without sleep because I was up all night with a fussy one. There were days without showers because I couldn’t trust the toddler for 10 quick minutes. There were frustrating mornings when someone didn’t want to get out of bed and missed the bus. There were chaotic evenings of figuring out how and when to feed hungry boys between school and sports practices. Through it all though, no matter how tired I was, I loved them. I loved being their mom.
I know I wasn’t always the best mom I could be. Plenty of moments stick in my head that make me cringe. I wish I could go back and tell myself that there are better ways..but since that’s not possible, I just accept that we all survived it and they probably, hopefully, don’t remember it as well as I do.
There were many times when the cruelly protective side came out...the mama bear. A bully chose the wrong kid to pick on, a teacher chose the wrong student to harass, a coach benched the wrong kid—they all met me, in beast mode. They regretted it immediately. There’s nothing on the planet more fiercely protective than a mother who fears for her young—in any species. I’m probably in the top 10. If my child is being messed with, forgotten, or mischaracterized...I’m going to correct it. Trust me—you’ll want to do as I ask the first time because my wrath is cold, cruel, vicious...and lasting. I still remember a certain assistant principal from Brandon’s 8th grade year. She didn’t fix things well enough, but after multiple visits with me she realized it would be easier to do as I suggested because she knew I wasn’t going to back down.
The danger with the Empress is losing your entire identity to being the creation part of her, forgetting the rest. At some point, we moms are all guilty of putting everyone’s needs ahead of ours. We sacrifice our bodies giving them life, and we sacrifice living to nurture them further. We give up on dreams, we put careers on hold. We lose interest in hobbies, forgetting how important they were to our mental health. Some of us, like me, even begin to give up their health. We forget to take care of ourselves, our marriages, and become simply mom.
It took drastic action to wake up and realize what was happening. It took remembering that as a woman I am truly the empress with all the power of creation behind me—and to harness that and re-create ME!! I had to want this for myself, and I had to do it before my time as mom was not a priority anymore. The clock was ticking. I started by realizing that I’m worth more than what I was giving myself.
I brought back things that gave me joy and inspired me. I worried that taking the focus off mom-life that I would disappoint them or be less than. Guess what? Not only did that not happen, but I had EVEN MORE to give them!!! In reclaiming my power, I recharged and I was more available to them for things they really needed me for. Being me, putting myself first gave me deeper appreciation for my own mother, and her energy spent raising me and my sisters. Honoring the mother portion of my being honors her, honors my ancestors. The gift of life given to me, I was squandering it. That realization hurt, but it brought me back on track to where I am today. I’ve reclaimed my power, and I’ve accepted my role as being one that changes over time. I’m still mom, but I’m more than that.
My children are now young men, living their own best lives without much input from me. My job raising them is over. It’s bittersweet because it means I’m no longer as needed as I once was for their daily living, but I’m so proud of them and who they have become! I’m still fiercely protective, ready to swoop in if called....and I’m always going to worry about them like it’s a job. More than this though—I will love them with all that I am forever. I knew them before they were born; I dreamt of them, felt them stretch. We are forever connected through a link as creator, as Empress, as mother to child.
We women are powerful creatures, and we forget this. We give so freely of all we have until we are running on empty. Step back moms, look at the lives you created, the children you nurtured, the young adults you raised. YOU did that...own it. That power was yours—still IS!! It’s time to claim your throne, your title, your power.
Should I have saved this card for Mother’s Day? Maybe, but in my world, I feel I should honor her every day. Go call your mom if you are lucky enough to still have her here on earth. Spend a moment today with her in your heart, thanking her for shaping you and creating you. Now, look at this Empress card again and see the power behind her and believe that you, mom, are an embodiment of her. You have her power to create and nurture, to protect and provide for...it’s within you. Claim her, and honor her by taking better care of you. You deserve this. You are Empress, so much more than Queen. You are all powerful, beautiful, and magical. Empress.
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